Do you ever have those moments as a mother were you do or react to something in realation to your kids and immediately after you wish you didn't do it. You just sit and wonder why did I say or do that? I call these mommy fail moments.... I have had a lot of mommy fail moments lately. Lol, my poor sweet kids...
For example last week.....had a nice chat with poisen control...again. It all started the night before, when Eric was working late. I had done a late night run to the store and came back in around eight. I was freaked out because I accidently left the back door unlocked, and I thought I heard a noise inside the house. Because I am scaredy cat, I grabbed our bottle of pepper spray and kept it with me on the couch,so I would be prepared to take care of any unexpected intruders... I put the kids to bed right away, but kept my pepper spray by me the rest of the night just incase. The only problem is I forgot about it, and accidently left it on the couch.
The next morning my, oh so curious boy found it on the couch, somehow got the safety latch off, and sprayed it all over his face. I was with Mckenna in the living room and he just came in screaming at the top of his lungs, face red, coudln't see.. It was so sad, he was so upset, and I didnt even know what was wrong yet. I ran into the family room to find the bottle of pepper spray on the floor. I called poisen control, hyperventilating and crying at the same time. They said it would be okay (about 10 times), but to wash it off with soap and water and to put ketchep on his face to help with the burning (who knew?). Poor boy screamed for an hour. I felt sooooo bad. How could I have caused such pain on my little boy? MOmmy- fail momment big time! We sat there and both cried on the rocking chair for about an hour, both covered in ketchep. Looking back at it, it probably looked like a funny scene, yet soo sad..
Another mommy fail momment (yes, I have many:). Went to the stoor the other day. Got a full cart full of food. Kids were getting cranky and so I got them a donut from the bakery to split. Chocolate everywhere... Went to line to checkout, asked a million questions about whether bread was on sale, which tomatoes are the cheapest, ect. Think I drove the store clerck crazy. In the meantime, I realized I forgot to put socks on Connor, which normally wouldnt be a big deal, but some little girls from our nieghborhood came to play with the twins and painted his nails bright red. The guy behind me kept rolling his eyes at me and looking at his feet.
At this point, both the kids just start screaming because they are tired of shopping and being in the cart. When we finally finished ringing up all the food and figuring out the price, the clerck told me my total and asked me how I was going to pay. That is when I realized that I forgot my wallet!
Here I am kids screaming, boy with bright red nail polish on, me in my grubbies, kids have eaten two donuts and are covered in cholate, have taken a bunch of time.... and I have no money. The store cleck and everyone in line looked annoyed, and I am sure they were thinking "this lady is off her rocker!".
I quickly apoligized and promised I would be back to pay for the groceries. The lady then asked how I would pay for the donuts the kids already ate. I seriously think she though I had "forgotten my wallet" to steal the donuts! I apoliged again and promised her I would be back to pay for donuts and all! Mommy fail moment!
And then there is today that I lost my keys AGAIN, for like the forth time this week, and then I left my husbands keys in the keyhole in the door outside over night so that anyone could easily come in our house! My sweet husband is so patient and kind to me despite my complete lack of organization and my many moments.
I wish I could be one of those blogging mommies that could sit and brag about how much I like to clean my house, what crafts I did, and how much I enjoy every moment of being a mother. But honestly if I did, I would be lying! I feel like most days I am just in survival mode trying to keep the kids fed and alive, and dont have time for much else. Lol, seriously, I dont know how you moms do it!
I will say, times like these make me so grateful for the gospel. That despite my many mommy fail moments and weaknesses, God still loves me and believes in me. I still wonder many times why God entrusted twins to me. I mean he knows how scattered brained and imperfect I am! But I am so grateful for the atonement and his presence in my life which makes me want to be a better person and keeps me trying. I am especially grateful my the forgiving nature of kids and how they love you know matter what, and for a husband that loves me despite all my weaknesses.
