It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Didn't Charles Dickens write a book that started that way? Anyway, that is the perfect way to describe what's going on in the Banner Desert neonatal intensive care unit right now. We've noticed such individual, distinct personalities in Connor and Mckenna, and when the twins are doing well, it's the best of times. When Mckenna struggles badly, it's pretty much the opposite. Our little Con-man is growing quite a bit, currently at 3 pounds 4 ounces--more than double his birth weight. Mckenna is at 2 pounds 14 ounces, exactly twice her birth weight.

Connor is a fast-progressing little man who demands attention when it's too noisy outside his incubator or when he's frustrated. That would be pretty much all the time unless he's sleeping because of his lack of appreciation for oxygen machines, wires, thermometers, and vital sign probes-- he wants them off his body..immediately. Earlier this week I was kangaroo caring with Mckenna and I saw his nurse exclaim "Connor!" and rush to his cube. His oxygen and heart rate had dropped and his monitors were beeping because he had removed the nose oxygen apparatus and put it in his mouth, where it was giving his tonsils some unnecessary air conditioning. After the nurse restored some order, his O2 and heart rate levels returned to normal. Then she called some other nurses over and they all had a good laugh, along with us. He also loves being held and loves his mommy so much that she can calm him down immediately whenever he starts waiving his arms in frustration. He melts when she does kangaroo care with him, and loves it when grandma Burns, who is visiting for the week, holds him as well. He is doing great so far.

Mckenna has had another rough week, maybe her worst since the pneumonia. She has "crashed" almost every day this week-- meaning she goes to 100% oxygen support on the ventilator. It's extremely frustrating, especially now because she is on some controversial steroids that are supposed to be helping. This particular steroid, Decadron, is controversial because it can affect the development of a child, but the doctors all agreed that it would be necessary to take in order to help clear up her lungs. Yesterday, the steroids seemed to be working, because she was down to 30% oxygen level on the ventilator, and we were extremely hopeful. Her lungs regressed throughout the day, and she became increasingly agitated. She was put on two different sedatives in order to calm her down. She's obviously in pain or agitated somehow, because normally Verced works fine to calm her down, (even after her heart operation). When Verced didn't work, they added phenobarbital to her system which is used mainly to inhibit seizures. She reached 100% support again by 9pm last night, but still wasn't getting enough oxygen circulation through her body. She turned the sickly white/gray color that is always present when her oxygen saturation is poor. After an x-ray around midnight, they noticed that the right side of her lungs had collapsed, and oxygen was only going through the left side. They adjusted the tube slightly to allow more air passage through the left side while trying to re-inflate the right side. This morning they are doing some blood cultures and aspirate (sp?) checks for infection, and she got another blood transfusion, her fourth so far. They started her on antibiotics again as they wait for the results of the blood tests. We really don't know know how long she'll struggle like this, but have found some peace in the scripture Matt 11:30 when Christ says "Take my yoke upon you.. for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Our prayers used to mostly involve pleadings with God that she would live and get better, but we're not so sure that it's the Lord's will at this point. We appreciate all the prayers and support, but also ask that prayers and requests for Mckenna will involve the Lord's will for her. We are hopeful that she'll turn things around and improve, and have good reason to believe that they will, but we believe that sometimes with God's infinite love and wisdom, healing is not part of the plan and death can be a blessing. We also know that we'll see her again if this is the case. We love our kids dearly and are confident that things will get better, and are still hopeful at this point. They are, after all, only seven weeks old and supposed to be in mommy's tummy for another seven weeks. Thanks again for all your prayers and support.